The meaning of life and death...from a mom's perspective

The day after Mother’s Day…

When I was newly bereaved and for years beyond…I was so afraid of Mother’s Day and what it would bring me emotionally…and physically too. Could I have known that others…like many of you…feel this way too? So silent at times in our pain and grief that we pull back into ourselves and try to shield ourselves from the knowing… That …

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What I’ve learned about planning our lives together…

…and the writing of this blog was also meant to be… Maybe like Billy Fingers and his sister Annie Kagan…in the eye opening book The Afterlife of Billy Fingers. I will always remember the moment when I was told that Scott had chosen me to be his mother… Chosen me to be his mother… Oh wow… Writing that even now …

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Love is forever …for…ever…

The love I have for Scott is never diminishing. In almost twenty years…not at all… It can’t be diminished. Why? Because Scott has shown me purely unconditional love in so many ways…since his death… I could never have known we would have this magnificent continuing relationship… And if I even doubted it…because I was in such deep pain…I had to …

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Scott’s words about his leaving…

When my love for Scott was ever so present…after his death…it was so multi-faceted… I love you forever sweetheart. Forever… Do you know that? I miss you beyond words Scott! I am so confused…What do I DO with all my love for you?? Can you hear me cry out to you? Is it possible you do hear me? …Every day? …

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The needs of a grieving heart…

When life and death intersect and we are standing in the middle of it…where do we go for answers…help? We are the ones in pain and yet …WE must do the work to understand this tragedy too?? How can we as grievers come to the place of understanding the reality of of our lives…keep going to work, raise our families, …

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Life and death and everything in between teach us…

I never thought deeply about life and death… The need to do this only came after Scott’s death… Because…as I wrote before…I did not want Scott’s death to be random… What does random mean when it comes to the death of our child and loved ones whose lives were important beyond words… I cannot say how many times I thought …

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