The meaning of life and death...from a mom's perspective

This life has meaning…

This title is brought by Scott…confusing to me in the beginning of our writing… Does it mean my life? My lifetime? Scott’s life? All three he shares… I give so much more time and thought…inner thought to Scott sometimes…writing about who he was, is now…and what all that means to me and for you…as the reader… At times I focus …

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Scott’s death anniversary… May 20… Twenty years…

When the news came that Scott had…d i e d…there was no way to contain or restrain or hold my emotions from screaming out of me. My pain was unleashed…I was unleashed… How then can I be here today…today…and know it has been twenty years since Scott died…left? It seems impossible it could be so many years…until it is here… …

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The day after Mother’s Day…

When I was newly bereaved and for years beyond…I was so afraid of Mother’s Day and what it would bring me emotionally…and physically too. Could I have known that others…like many of you…feel this way too? So silent at times in our pain and grief that we pull back into ourselves and try to shield ourselves from the knowing… That …

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What I’ve learned about planning our lives together…

…and the writing of this blog was also meant to be… Maybe like Billy Fingers and his sister Annie Kagan…in the eye opening book The Afterlife of Billy Fingers. I will always remember the moment when I was told that Scott had chosen me to be his mother… Chosen me to be his mother… Oh wow… Writing that even now …

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Love is forever …for…ever…

The love I have for Scott is never diminishing. In almost twenty years…not at all… It can’t be diminished. Why? Because Scott has shown me purely unconditional love in so many ways…since his death… I could never have known we would have this magnificent continuing relationship… And if I even doubted it…because I was in such deep pain…I had to …

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Scott’s words about his leaving…

When my love for Scott was ever so present…after his death…it was so multi-faceted… I love you forever sweetheart. Forever… Do you know that? I miss you beyond words Scott! I am so confused…What do I DO with all my love for you?? Can you hear me cry out to you? Is it possible you do hear me? …Every day? …

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