What Can Today Show You?

The first knowing I had that Scott had died was… This is so incredibly final!

It wasn’t until I was given that first sign of his continuing relationship with me that I was able to see a spark of hope…that death is not final.  It came the day after his funeral.

Now, all these years later…I cannot believe how much Scott/Spirit has taught me…and continues to…

Last night in an effort to not sit on the couch for hours watching TV, I needed something to do.  A winter night in Ohio…with freezing rain and crazy wind outside pretty much kept us in again… Ugh!

But…

I know how Scott works now…I think it’s my idea…but it’s not. Oh yes, I see this all the time…and know it is soul planned…because without a doubt, everything is.

Suddenly, I felt the need to delve into something I had not even considered doing five minutes before. I was prompted to clean out a large wire file box next to my desk.  Truly, I have avoided that box for years. It had files and more files, programs and workshops from conferences I’ve presented…and honestly, stuff I wasn’t even sure why it was saved. To give you a clear picture of this box…it was tightly filled from end to end and then I piled more on top until, really nothing else could go in it or on it!

This is the night, right Scott? WE are going through ALL this and recycling the hundreds of pieces of paper, pitching the useless, outdated things…and… Oh wait! I had this in there??

As I spread dozens of multi colored file folders on the floor and then more onto the dining room table…I began to see a treasure trove of my history…with grief.

wow…

Page after page…I found poems and quotes that had inspired me…giving me much needed hope in those earlier days. Life saving, as you might know. 

Notes from my counseling sessions that still speak to me. Online classes I had taken with my printed words describing the grief and the pain, the challenges…and the discoveries too.

It was stunning to see and read passages I had shared with others in my need to reach out.

Signs and more signs  from Scott…written on napkins or post it notes… Oh, I love this! 

Scribbled notes from phone readings with mediums… Photos with other moms and dads at conferences. Cd’s of workshops I had presented. How to meditate instructions (I finally got it!),

The first script to the Angel of Hope Candle Lighting I led… Notes from the parents support group I facilitated.  So much of my life from the last twenty-two years was in that box!

I was seeing HOW I found myself…and the knowing Scott never left.

Volumes of words…giving me the faith to go on, to trust in something deeper, bigger than I ever could have imagined…and how purpose found me through the years. 

This was not a “job” last night… Oh no, it was an exploration of my grief journey…

Stunning. Yes. I have to admit…stunning

From the most defining days of my life…from devastation to development…and everything in between…I had unknowingly kept it all.

I knew when I went to that overstuffed file box last night it was no coincidence… But could I have known it would be so timely, so needed, so perfect? Not until I was there… 

So when I share with you that it has been twenty-two years since my only child, my precious Scott died…it is not to scare you… “Will it take me that long to get there?”  No… My journey has turned into my passion and my life now…

First and foremost, I need you to know our children never leave us. I can prove that…

Trust that you are working on your grief…every day… You know that.  It has meaning

Anger, pain, sharing your story, finding ways to grow and help others, reading, studying, any and all the ways your grief demands your attention…it is TEACHING you.

I truly hope you have a box started…or it may be files on your computer…or a stack of papers and notes on your desk… Your own extraordinary volumes of words and memories being saved…so that someday you will look back and see how you became YOU on this life changing journey…  All as it is meant to be…

Scott/Spirit shares…

As Sara/Mom opened up the files into her life last night…her heart and soul were opened up to the incredible task she had of moving into a life she knew so little about. Death teaches. Life teaches. The soul journey is pushing you too…to find your way…even when you cannot comprehend or understand the depth of it. 

We use her journey to illustrate what you might see for your future?  Yes… Knowing you came to earth…as your children did as well…to grow, expand, fulfill a commitment to yourself in ways you cannot always see… Begin to trust we are guiding you… Spiritually, we are very aware of the journey you are on… Are you feeling that yet?  If not…keep reading…we are revealing more…

With great love,

Sara and Scott/Spirit

20 responses to “What Can Today Show You?”

  1. Elle says:

    I believe the same thing, but I am not sure how I got to this point.

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Elle…I honestly think we ALL feel that. There is no one way to meet grief, move through it, or leave it that is prescribed, known to us or easily shown… It is the journey you came to take, just I and many others struggle to endure. As I went through the pages and pages of notes I had kept in the box, I see now I was always, always looking for something to bring me less pain, meaning…something, anything to help me make sense of Scott’s death…and who I was now.
      I encourage you to continue to read, search, and seek out tidbits here or there, and let the bigger picture of life and death seep in… xoxo

  2. Mary Berry says:

    Oh Sara! This was a beautiful post you and Scott shared. My daughter Lauren passed suddenly New Year’s Day 2012. It is a journey that you have to navigate without a map or directions. The pain and grief is incredible. I didn’t think the pain around my heart would ever ease. Somewhere along my path I found you! Thank you for all that you do. I’ve also met some wonderful people, resources, and friends along the way. My family gave me (and continues to give me) strength. Lauren taught me of the strength of love between mother and child. And she also taught me that we don’t die. Much love, Mary Berry

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Thank you Mary, for sharing what have have gleaned thus far on your journey. Your words are so encouraging for others to read as well. Every day we may be challenged beyond anything we’ve ever known…but there is strength and courage that flows through even in our confusion and pain.
      When Scott and I share about the soul journey, it is because that is the depth of this path we are on. This work/journey is reaching into, digging into our hearts and souls like nothing ever could. Work that connects us with our children…who we thought left this world. We cannot know where all this will take us…but to continue to feel their love is more than I could have ever dreamed of… Thank you Mary. xoxo

  3. Patti Dever says:

    Sara, I have been reading your news letter not faithfully for the past 6 or so months. In 8 days it will be 9 months since my daughter Samantha passed. I may have left a reply on your newsletter before. I have had numerous signs but I still struggle. I want to believe in the worst way that my daughter is living on another plane or in Heaven and that she is happy. I want to believe that this all happened for a reason and that I am here for the purpose of learning but I don’t. I know you have heard this before maybe from yourself. I feel like I am stuck in a nightmare. I can’t believe she is gone. I have gone to hypnotist, acupuncture, group meditation, medium, reiki. I am constantly reading new books and articles on afterlife and how to communicate with loved ones who have passed. I don’t even know why I am writing this to you.

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Dear Patti… Maybe you wrote because you needed to see your words, your love, your determination to find your daughter in new ways. You are finding those ways whether you feel it is enough or not. One day at a time, one resource at a time…you sound like me. This journey demands our attention, our time, and in time, our faith that this work (and it IS work) was not a waste of our energy, but something that had to happen for us to see the bigger picture of life and death…that love does not ever die…that our children become our teachers. I hope you’ll continue to read our blog Patti, and I urge you to read our archived blogs…listed below Scott’s photo…because I believe there is much there that could help you…to see more. Love to you…

  4. Terry says:

    I had a dream visit with my daughter, Lexi, early this morning and woke up abruptly in bed at a very early hour. I sat up and wrote everything I could remember about the dream…which was mainly about how I felt around my daughter…how radiant and self-assured she was and the positive energy and warmth that surrounded her…I didn’t leave her side soaking it all in. After I wrote everything down, I cried missing her here in the physical. When I first woke in my bedroom, it felt strange to me like this was a false reality…any thoughts on that? I also had a conversation with my daughter as I lied awake in bed about something I’ve been struggling with and now have clarity on. Thank you for your blog Sara…it helps me so much ♡

    • Sara Ruble says:

      What a profound morning you had Terry. So much learning comes from our dreams…particularly a dream visit. What I now know is that while we are asleep or wide awake, every moment of our life is the spiritual journey we are on. While sleeping, when our minds are more uncluttered and quiet, it is easier for the dreams and visions to be remembered…and you are that much more aware of the continuing relationship you have with your daughter. Spiritually you are growing and truly following the path of your soul.
      Waking up to what felt like a false reality could be the fact that somewhere deep within, you know that we are spiritual beings in human bodies… Does that make sense? Thank you for sharing… xoxo

      • Terry says:

        Yes, it does make sense but that was the first time I really ‘felt’ that way…like where I was was an illusion. I guess it’s another step on my path! Thank you for your response xo

        • Sara Ruble says:

          Terry…as we learn more about the spiritual journey we find it is not moving in linear ways, as we might expect. Our minds expand as we see, feel, and experience within the spiritual teachings. Let it flow and know you are ready when it comes… xoxo

  5. Thank you for this beautiful message Sara and Scott. ❤️

  6. Ty Smith says:

    This post is so timely. Tomorrow will be the second bday my Shayna has spent in her “real” home. This is starting to make sense but I miss her so much. I really hope I will one day be able to tune into her like you can your son. Shayna passed on 18 months ago at 15. My healthy girl passed in her sleep from what appeared to be a heart valve defect. She just vanished!!! I feel she is still near but I wish I knew for sure like you seem to. Love reading your post- thank you💜

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Dear Ty… Sending you love as Shayna’s birthday comes… I know how you feel…as I was waiting, so hopeful Scott would connect with me, I never really knew what would happen. I never gave up working on the spiritual aspect of our relationship… Give yourself time and trust the love… xoxo

  7. Hi Sara, I have been following you for the last 6 months and am starting to understand soul planning. It seems to answer s lot of my questions. I do receive signs from my grandson Matthew all the time. I had a dream about a month ago in which he said he came to say goodbye. He was the brightest white I have ever seen and so happy. For the first time I could actually feel him as I hugged him. Could that mean that his spirit may be reborn again, and if so will I not get signs from him anymore!

    • Sara Ruble says:

      What a beautiful and real experience you had with your grandson Carolyn. I know those feelings of gratitude, and yet the deep concern. I can assure you…that Matthew’s spirit will always exist as Matthew. He will always know you…and you him. Your relationship was soul planned before your births for that eternal connection. When his spirit comes into a body once more, Matthew will always exist in Spirit, your love intact…and even growing! Trust Matthew…his love for you…the soul journey. Love, love.

  8. Hi Sara, I was hoping that was true. Does Matthew enter a human form again and become another spirit. If so will it be with the same people. I know he will always be Matthew to me but depending on his journey can he enter another human form. Thanks for all your insight. Carolynh

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Such important questions Carolyn… We all come in and out of our lives with great spiritual planning, meaning and purpose. We cannot know what those future lifetimes will be. Spiritually the planning is always based on the needs of each family member…because the human experiences will teach us specifically what we need in every lifetime. As far as the soul families, sometimes you may feel as if you’ve known someone before, or you recognize them in a way that does not seem possible from your experiences in this lifetime…that would be a recognition from a past life. In time you may realize a certain relationship as well. All of this is within the mystery of our lives, every aspect known by Spirit… We learn and evolve in the human body, mostly unaware of what the soul planning will bring…or what relationships will come together again. It is very possible though,that Matthew will come into your life again. Maybe not as a grandson, but in another role.
      I hope this helps answer some of your questions Carolyn. xox

  9. Stephanie robinson says:

    Sara, I too have so many notes, inspiring poems that I’ve been keeping, they are everywhere, I’m really in a funk, missing my Brandon so much, gonna do some work compiling them, maybe this can give me hope, I feel uplifted when I read the lessons from you and Scott, but….I fall back down into that hopeless hole. Thank you for helping me see that there is light when sometimes darkness just swarms all around me, I wish I would have known the pain before I agreed to this Soul Plan, i just don’t understand why we would agree to this torture and misery

    • Sara Ruble says:

      Yes, the pain Stephanie. It is a teacher of great magnitude. It teaches (pushes) us in the body to seek help, answers, relief and much more. Spiritually it is always being used to further our soul, to evolve in new ways as the universe is constantly expanding. To us in the body now, in such great agony and confusion…it is hard to comprehend planning this…but spiritually (where we all come from and will return) everything is completely understood. The need for the pain is known to be necessary for growth and knowledge, greater compassion, friendships (deeper or fewer), spiritual connections, releasing past life fears, and hundreds of other reasons…for evolvement on levels we cannot always see. Grief does show us more in time… seeing a little bit of Heaven/Spirit… Trust more can come… xox

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